Eatable

Remember last issue, when we went to the SAVAGE LAND, the nature preserve full of dinosaurs? Guess what? We’re still in the amazing SAVAGE LAND, and there’re even MORE dinosaurs! Will Squirrel Girl FIGHT a dinosaur? Will Squirrel Girl fight TWO dinosaurs? Will we come up with really excellent reasons why these fights would take place, reasons that both justify the fights while also telling the story of what led to this dinosaur-punching smashup: a story which, even though it stars dinosaurs and Squirrel Girls, contains within it the chance for us to recognize, perhaps for the first time, our most personal and secret selves?? Of course we will; that’s literally our job. This issue also features jokes and a super villain who’s causing major problems, so it’s the complete package, really.

When Doreen Green and Nancy Whitehead enter a mysterious programming competition, they don’t suspect that the prize for winners will be…an all-expenses-paid trip to the SAVAGE LAND! Yes: THE SAVAGE LAND! Also known as ‘a mysterious tropical region of Antarctica that we discovered is actually populated by DINOSAURS’! In the Marvel Universe, I mean. In OUR universe, the only thing ever discovered in that region was a note from Robert Scott’s doomed expedition to the South Pole (he arrived there weeks after his competition, Roald Amundsen, got there first), which read in part, ‘This is an awful place and terrible enough for us to have labored to it without the reward of priority’! The story of those Antarctic expeditions is fascinating, but OURS IS PRETTY FASCINATING TOO, plus it has Squirrel Girl AND dinosaurs in it!! So maybe read up on the other ones but definitely check out our comic right away.

This is it! The epic showdown between Melissa and Squirrel Girl, as the fate of New York City – and everyone in it – hangs in the balance! Will Melissa’s secret intentions be uncovered? Will Doreen and her friends be able to stop her? Can squirrels TRULY hope to match an army made up of EVERY OTHER ANIMAL EVER? Great news: We have studied each of these questions extremely carefully, and we are pleased to reveal our answers in this upcoming issue of The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl!

Worst-mentor-ever Melissa Morbeck has trapped Squirrel Girl in her house, surrounded by zoo animals under her control, and laid out her demands: She wants to have…A CHAT. Does that not sound exciting enough? What if we were to tell you that this chat ALSO involves punching, shocking revelations, a little bit of cool computer stuff and MACHINE-GUN-WIELDING BEARS, who are as extremely cute as they are extremely deadly?? Squirrels AND machine-gun bears, all in the same comic?! That’s right. Only SQUIRREL GIRL gives you what you want, assuming you have those two very particular interests!! Hopefully you do; we’ve got a lot riding on this.

Squirrel Girl has met a mysterious benefactor who has given her a flying squirrel suit that’s definitely reliable and trustworthy! All is fine in the world, yes? You may be saying “yes, of course, and it certainly sounds like this is going to be a refreshingly calm and event-free issue of my favorite talking squirrel comic,” but if you’ll recall what the last few pages of our previous issue dramatically revealed, you’ll remember that, no, we’re actually all in a lot of trouble! Squirrel Girl is being manipulated by someone whose motivations nobody knows; Nancy is struggling with a challenging programming problem off-panel (which is why you didn’t see it in the last issue, but don’t worry, she’ll figure it out); AND a chicken named Alfredo is in a high-stakes battle for his very life! Gasp at a secret invasion of character motivations! Thrill at a chaos war of emotions! Boggle as monsters truly get unleashed and Doreen’s fate hangs in the balance! Squirrels and girls and punching, oh